going, going, gone.



About Belong:

- It was inspired by the song “Belong” by Cary Brothers, which I heard last year at my high school’s fall dance concert.

- Everything was typed on my iPod touch.

- I did not plan on Sasori being a druggie it just sorta happened.

- or that colors and hurricanes would become major motifs.


I really did not plan on the definitions of the word “belong” fitting so well into the fic, and being an outline for what eventually happened, or, as stated above, that colors and hurricanes would fit so perfectly. In the two scenes Sasori and Deidara were actually together, I’m kinda proud of the way I portrayed that relationship. Too many times I’ve read fics where it’s just mush everywhere, and neither of them are in character. In Belong, I tried to make it realistic — where they both know they feel for each other, but it’s not so easily presented. Both characters are very independent, and so in the end, both achieved what they originally wanted (to not feel obligated towards someone, or “belong”).


Bleh, I’m not a fan of the way it was written, though, the beginning is pretty good, considering I edited that like a maniac for several days. As the story goes on, I feel the writing style stays less consistent. I also wanted the style to be something similar to Aureolin No. 40 (ie. SasoDei fanfic that is just ahhh), which was obviously a fail. Belong is like my bastard child — I was proud of it for a while, but once it became longer I wanted to punch myself in the face. Even now, I’m not happy with it. I’m also iffy about the characterization, though, I realize there has to be some OOC for SasoDei/DeiSaso to even happen, but nevertheless, I refuse to read this piece because it caused me enough head-aches.



About Starry Night:

What I really wanted to accomplish with the story was to get out of my comfort zone. I can write angst just fine, but fluff is way more difficult, especially this pairing. It was also the exact opposite of Belong, as far as writing it. With Belong, I had a set beginning, middle, and end, but with Starry Night, I gave myself a prompt and just wrote. Whatever appeared on the page I thought, “Okay, I can work with that,” and pretty soon I had a whole story going. I knew I wanted it to be in present tense, because again, I wanted to challenge myself, and boy, let me tell you: writing almost 10K in present tense is hard when you’ve barely done it before. Also opposite from Belong, which I liked at first but then hated, I disliked this one at first, and then grew to like it. I can’t say which version of writing I prefer, but this will definitely be the last fluff fic I write. All in all, I think writing this piece really made me improve as an overall writer, but it certainly doesn’t mean I’ll be doing something like this anytime soon.

About the books mentioned in the story: I’ve read most of them, or at least, have tried to.

The quote, “Be with Senna for a million years and you won’t know her. Be with April ten minutes and it’s like you grew up together,” is from Everworld, which I absolutely despise. I just really dislike the plot and writing style and everything about it. One of my classmates gave it to me in fifth grade, so I’d feel bad about giving it away or selling it. It sits on my desk for now, since I refuse to have it on my bookshelf.

Oscar Wilde: I’ve read The Picture of Dorian Gray, but I wasn’t crazy about it.

Count of Monte Cristo: Absolutely hate this book. I really dislike books translated to English from their original language to begin with, but the amount of settings and characters made it really confusing, and don’t even get me started on the amount of fake identities Dante has. It’s on my desk right along with Everworld.

Timeless Tales of Gods and Heroes: The book I had to use for an English mythology unit last year. We read the story of Psyche Cupid and Hercules from that book. I’ve been meaning to get it off of Amazon ever since, because Greek mythology is amazing.

Wuthering Heights: I tried reading this, and couldn’t comprehend fifteen pages. Something about a guy going into a castle, and a girl writing letters, and there was some kind of “bitch pointer.” I don’t even know.

Annnd since I know someone is going to be confused or ask about a certain part, I’ll explain it here.

I also don’t eat when I feel… low.”

Deidara blinks, the words escaping his lips before he realizes their meaning. “Why?”

"For several reasons," he answers.

Like I said before, I just typed whatever came to mind, and of course, I edited it later. While editing, I thought of removing this entire section, because it just seemed awkward and out of place.

But that was before I found out a girl who I’ve known for almost five years had been starving herself for three.

I’m not going to get into details about it, because it’s super personal for her, and it’s a touchy subject for me, too. When I found out she was doing that to herself, I called up one of my best friends, and we talked about it. The girl who had been starving stated that she was underweight before she started “restricting” and I told my friend this. My friend then told me she has a really screwed up family that doesn’t treat her right emotionally. That’s when I said that the restricting was more of a control issue more than a body image issue, and my friend agreed.

When I went back to the story, I wanted to cry reading that part over, especially after it personally affected me. It didn’t seem random or awkward to me anymore, because I understood it wasn’t a body issue, but a way to deal with problems. I know it might feel out of place for the reader, especially one who hasn’t been affected by something like this, but I felt it was necessary to keep it there.

That being said, does that mean getting a boy/girlfriend will magically solve all of your issues? Of course not. The point of the scene was to illustrate how Sasori was affected by loneliness and all that. The girl I know has said she wishes that someone would stick with her no matter what, and my friend is fairly positive the entire starving situation is a cry for help. I didn’t want this story to be angst or have a harsh ending, I knew that much.

With that said, I hope whoever is reading this understands why I put that scene in there.


God, this is going to sound cheesy as hell, but you know what, I like that I didn’t bullshit the romance. I know that’s pretty vague, but with Twilight and 50 Shades going around, I just avoid any kind of book under the romance category nowadays. What I notice is that they’re all about physical attraction, and all about how hot Character A thinks Character B is to satisfy some kind of weird fantasy for the reader. I’m glad I didn’t resort to anything like that, and instead made it about a real liking between the characters, rather than some kind of temporary infatuation.


I really can’t say I dislike anything right now. Maybe that “I-totally-didn’t-see-that-one-coming” ending, but it is fluff through and through. I’m sure I’ll find something to hate about it eventually, but for now, I’m just glad it’s finally finished.

Thoughts on Spiral



I love this story to pieces, and I finished the entire thing (nearly 2K, I believe) in less than a week. I’ll admit the style isn’t my own like Belong is, but I think that by writing a story in a style that I admire has helped me improve. What I tried to accomplish is this: make a story of every sentence, and for each sentence to stand alone and tell a story by itself. I don’t think I passed this goal with flying colors, but I do believe I achieved this to an extent.


The style of course, and also some symbolism and ideas behind the piece. I adore the use of fire used to represent passion, the river a reference to the River Styx in Greek mythology, and ugh I have lots of feelings about this piece ok. Even the length is suitable, because I can’t really imagine the story being much longer than I wrote it to be.


??? I can’t even think of anything to dislike oml. Probably the frequent mentioning of cutting and more mature themes throughout, but I think that’s what makes the story angsty and wonderful.